


Unfathomable guilt

by Fiddle_Sticks



Category: RWBY
Genre: Bumbleby/FreezerBurn/Bees Schnees if you squint, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied Monochrome, Other, V3E11 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:31:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5972035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiddle_Sticks/pseuds/Fiddle_Sticks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weiss has a lot she needs to get off her chest to Yang after the chaos befalling Vale starts to settle down.</p><p>__________________________</p><p>My contribution to the flood of post V3E11 one-shots, with a little twist. Cheers~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfathomable guilt

The Schnee family was the pinnacle of Atlesian business and aristocracy, and as such Weiss was destined to continue its legacy as the perfect heir. Countless lessons in etiquette, politics, and restraint had been pounded into her head; the young girl was born and bred to be both a graceful lady of high society and a successful corporate leader.

  _Anger is a potent and dangerous emotion to wield, and should never be used in its primal forms. What do you do if you start to feel the searing heat of fury? You seal it up, for unbridled anger is classless- a peasant’s weapon. Keep the feelings down until they’ve cooled over time and you have a clear head; frozen, tempered anger is what you use to win. Go into a business deal with enemy families hot, and they sneak the deed to a fifth of your profits in the fine print. Run into battle with nothing more than rage and bloodlust, and you lose your head._

 “Or an arm.” Weiss muttered bitterly. That particular lesson from one of her personal advisors echoed in her head as the heiress peered through the small window of the hospital room’s door- Yang’s room.

 The blonde spit-fire was still fast asleep, hooked up to a number of machines that were pumping medicine to fight infection and keep her sedated. Weiss hadn’t been around the first few times Yang had woken up, but Blake and Ruby had expressed that she was in shock each time- screaming and thrashing about until the nurses were able to knock her back out. It was now a little over a week since Vale fell into disorder, and Yang had managed stay calm down long enough the day before that her partner and sister could smother her with affection; Weiss saw that as a good sign to finally confront the huntress in training herself.

 

But she couldn’t.

 

Weiss had been at the hospital the entire day, receiving a break from clearing out the lingering packs of Grimm by General Ironwood, and her useless courage had only managed to get the heiress to the door. The sun had set over Vale half an hour ago, and Weiss knew the staff would have to ask her to leave soon.

 She had missed her opportunity to speak with Yang while she was awake that day twice, and the cowardice in Weiss had almost convinced her to leave after the blonde had passed out after her early supper. Over half a dozen nurses had asked Weiss if she wanted them to alert Yang of her presence, and she had pleaded with them to keep it a secret each time. The bench a little down the hall from Yang’s room had been her brooding nest for hours, where she constantly fought the urge to leave and try again another time.

 

But Weiss was still there.

 

A shiver ran down the conflicted girl’s spine as familiar hands wrapped gently around her waist, and Weiss let out a pent-up sigh. “I heard you coming that time.” She whispered to the head of raven hair that snuggled into the crook of her neck from behind.

 “Didn’t want to startle you.” Blake murmured as she landed a small kiss on her dearest’s collarbone before turning her head to Weiss’, who was already staring at her with glossy eyes. “Ready to go?” she continued, her lips brushing softly against the trembling pair in front of her.

 “I… I didn’t talk to Yang yet.” Weiss admitted, her voice a touch shaky. Her eyes started to water up the longer she stared at her girlfriend, and she mentally cursed herself.

 Weiss wasn’t able to look at the faunus for longer than a few seconds without bursting into tears ever since she found her and Yang bloodied and dismembered the night Vale went to shit. That first glimpse of Blake- blood spilling out of her side as she staggered helplessly with a big mess of tangled blonde hair unconscious and draped over her weakened body… You never want to imagine the people you love like that. Weiss was able to get them to where professionals could take over but she herself was in shock at the time, screaming and sobbing as medics had to pull her away from where they were getting ready to operate on Blake. Ruby was there in an unnaturally short time after Weiss had messaged her, and the two were able to console each other as the night passed and the fates of their teammates were left in question.

 But Blake was okay now. Adam managed to avoid any vital organs- he had just sliced open her left side wide enough to require immediate medical assistance. She had made a fairly smooth recovery and was allowed to leave today; partially the reason why Weiss had asked off from clearing duty.  

 

But she had also meant to confront Yang, which was a task left incomplete.

 

“Weiss.” Blake frowned out of sympathy, pulling her arms back and turning Weiss around to face her. She knew this was hard for her porcelain doll to do- it had been brought up at least once a day from when Blake had woken up from surgery. She then pulled her girlfriend back in for a real hug, wincing when Weiss squeezed tightly.

 “Easy hun, still a little tender.”

 “S-sorry.” Blake could hear the soft sniffles of a girl that was trying hard not to cry.

 “Yang is still Yang, Weiss. You can go in there now and even if she’s asleep, she’ll know. Just say what you wanted to tell her, and when she wakes, tell her again.” The taller girl gently started to rub her girlfriend’s back, trying her best not to tear up as well.

 Blake still didn’t forgive herself for what happened, and her days with Yang in the hospital had been riddled with devastating guilt. The blonde had insisted there was nothing to feel guilty about once she had calmed down, but her partner couldn’t believe it wasn’t her fault. Yang had paid a dear price for Blake’s love, and Blake saw only herself to blame.

 “I… yes. You're correct.” Weiss fumbled, no longer having a good excuse to back out. She wanted- no, needed, to do this, and with Blake there she was finally ready to suck it up.

 Breaking the embrace, Weiss turned towards the door, pulling the handle open just barely an inch as it clicked. She turned to Blake.

 “I love you. I love you so much.”

 The dark haired girl smiled, leaning in for another small kiss before Weiss went in. “Love you too, I’ll be waiting right out here.” Blake responded, resting up against the wall right by the door. The Faunus’ dearest took in a deep, shaky breath and entered the room, closing the door with a deafening click.

 

xxx

 

To her relief, Yang was still asleep. Weiss knew she needed the blonde huntress in training to hear and understand what she was about to say, but at least she could practice now; it had to count at least saying the words face to face, even if one face was passed out on medication.

 Weiss made her way across the tile of the room, her heels clacking loudly against the surface and cutting the heart-wrenching silence. Her eyes studied the room with haste, suddenly desperate to not focus on the unconscious girl in the center.

 

She never hated Hospitals until she saw Yang in one.

 

It was unnatural, seeing that sunshine of a human being cloistered in a sterile, controlled environment. Yang was a wild and ablaze spirit, and despite all the annoying things the blonde had done in the past it crushed Weiss to see her disarmed and stuck in a room. Yang would never be the same, and it’s because she was willing to sacrifice her life for her partner.

 And now Weiss was looming over her silent, incomplete body. She felt sick, like Yang was dead and she was viewing an open casket. Machines whirred and blipped in protest, ensuring Weiss that the girl was indeed still alive, but her chest was still heavy with guilt and pain.

 The conscious girl started to shake as she got closer, standing on Yang’s left side. She had to be as far from the missing limb as possible, choking back an abrupt cry when she even glanced at the empty space. _Just get it over with you dolt_ , Weiss thought harshly, glassy eyes warning to leak at any time now. _Say what you need to say._

 

“I…I-I just wanted to… I mean I want to t-tell you… I-I…

 

You saved Blake.”

 

The trembling girl’s stammering solidified for just a second as she spoke the words she had to get out, though not the ones she meant to start with. Still, Weiss had finally said something; she needed to keep the momentum going.

“You saved B-Blake, and I owe you my life for that, Yang. She… s-she’s everything to me. If she was g-gone, I… I don’t think I…”

 Her left hand immediately went up to her mouth as she held back a pained gasp, the thought shattering what collected poise she previously had. Tears fell freely as Weiss started to release the unstable emotions she had tried so desperately to restrain.

 “I’m sorry, Yang. I’m s-so sorry about your arm, you- Blake is up and okay and just needs to take it easy and _you’ve lost your arm for dust’s sake_ and I’m still stuck on the fact the girl I loved almost d-died. But t-then I realized I… I mean… Oh d-dust…”

 “It hit me the second day, when the nurses s-said Blake was going to be okay. I finally had the answer I wanted to hear… and then s-suddenly I was panicked again because y-you finally got into my thick head. I wanted to go and see you right then but I felt so g-guilty I hadn’t thought of you I… the minute I found you two hurt all I could think of was Blake; I didn’t even once stop and wonder if you were okay and that makes m-me _terrible.”_

“W-we’re not… you and I aren’t like me and Blake, but you’re _my teammate_. You are… Infuriatingly warm-hearted. Stubbornly generous. Obnoxiously considerate. You care _so_ much about Team RWBY, about me… a-a-and I didn’t care about y-you w-when you needed i-it…”

 Weiss clenched her eyes shut and gave in to her need to release, awash in relentless tears and hiccuping sobs.

 “I d-don’t d-deserve your c-compassion Yang. I don’t deserve y-you, I d-don’t deserve y-y-your l-love…”

 “And I don’t deserve to love you, Y-Yang. I’m a horri-”

 

 The self-loathing was caught in Weiss’ throat, interrupted by a familiar warmth growing in her right hand. Her eyes quickly opened and looked down, shocked to see a calloused hand firmly gripping hers. Blinking back the tears, her sight traveled up the arm and was greeted by a pair of tired lavender eyes.

 

“That’s enough, Weiss.” Yang spoke gruffly, her voice worn out and hoarse from the screaming and shouting.

 “Y-you were a-awake?”

 “Came to when the door clicked. Thought you were a nurse, didn’t care to open my eyes.” Yang was slow to speak, her breath labored and voice cracking at times. She gave Weiss’s hand a soft tug, a silent request for the girl in white to come closer. Weiss complied, wiping her cheek with her free hand before placing it over their entwined fingers.

 “O-oh. Yang I-”

 “Weiss.” She was firm, but in no way harsh or malicious. Yang never once broke eye contact, her stare an arrow right through Weiss’ focus. “I’d like to respond, if you’d let me.” The blonde gave a feeble smile at that, and the other girl nodded, face hot. When Yang began to talk again it was still slow going; her words were quiet and throaty, but the meaning beneath them was clear.

“First off, you and Blake are going to hurt yourselves with all that guilt and fear bottled up, I swear. Secondly, I love you too.” Yang squeezed Weiss’ hand before quickly continuing as so the distraught girl couldn’t object.

 “Thirdly, I can’t tell you whether you do or don’t deserve anything. But if it were up to me, you’d get the world on a string. You, Blake, Ruby… As much as it sucks- and I say this thinking maybe the painkillers are working overtime, I would give my other arm for any one of you. They mean the world to me. _You_ mean the world to me.”

 

“Quit sobbing jeez, I’m not dead.” The maimed huntress in training teased, scooting over enough to give Weiss room to sit down besides her. The heiress sniffled and gracefully placed herself next to Yang. She went to speak up until the blonde shot her a small look conveying she wasn’t done yet.

 “Blake is your girlfriend and you love her dearly- of course I wasn’t in your head when you saw us. I doubt you saw my arm, and what you did see was probably your worst nightmare. I couldn’t be mad even if I was, Weiss. And Blakey told me the second you knew she was fine, you were fretting over me.” Yang slowly let go of Weiss’ hands as she did her best to prop herself up, her eyes now level with the ice blue of her teammate’s.

 “When it comes down to it Weiss, it was you who saved us. I might have saved Blake, it seemed as though Adam was going to… yeah. But the fact is that we definitely would have been lost to the Grimm if you hadn’t found us when you did. You saved your girlfriend… and you saved me.” That soft smile ran across Yang’s haggard face again. “I’ve known you for how long, a year or so now? And you’ve grown so much, you’ve taken some big steps from being that spoiled brat picking on my sister.” Weiss looked away, face red in embarrassment at the mention of her past self, but Yang slowly brought her face back up to level with her left hand.

 “You’re sharp as a tack, Weiss. You keep the whole team on track, and away from too much trouble. You pick up all the stress and burden it yourself, and that’s not right. So for me, forgive yourself? I said it to Blake too, and I’ll keep saying it to the both of you until it gets through those stubborn heads of yours.” As she finished, Yang leaned in and softly planted a loving kiss on the center of Weiss’ forehead.

 

And suddenly Weiss couldn’t hold back; she tackled Yang back into her hospital cot, sobbing as she wrapped her arms around her teammate. The blonde was surprised but quickly reciprocated, doing her best to wrap her own arm around the shaking teen.

 

They held each other for what seemed like hours, until Weiss’ wailing and tears came to a stop. She was finally feeling the fatigue from days of vanquishing Grimm and holding back her emotions, and she knew the nurses were going to come in soon to ask her to leave; Weiss could have stayed all night being held in Yang’s embrace. _It just doesn’t seem right_ , she thought to herself as she pulled back to stare into that warm smile. _How can this girl comfort me when she’s the one that needs it the most?_

It was at that moment Weiss knew she had to be better, for Yang. She would be the best she could be, for the sun had chosen to shine on her.

 “Ruby’s been designing a new arm for you.” The snow haired princess began, breaking the silence as she lifted herself up from Yang. “My family is paying for every cent it costs, as well as the hospital bills. That’s how I can start to forgive myself.” She said matter-of-factly.

 Yang looked as if she wanted to argue, but instead gave a chuckle; Weiss knew the taller girl wasn’t used to being doted on or receiving charity, but would do it so her teammate could make peace with herself.

 “Aye-aye, Ice Queen.” Yang quipped, her left hand back snugly in Weiss’. The latter could tell she was about to make a pun but was stopped as a gentle knock rang through the room, signaling the entrance of a lithe figure clad in black.

 “Blakey.” The beam Yang always gave off whenever her partner was in the room couldn’t be compared to anything that gave it justice, and Weiss felt her own heart skip a beat seeing her beloved enter the space.

 

“Time for you two to leave already?”

 

“Afraid so, Yang.” Blake’s silky purr bore the bad news as she crossed the room, leaning down to kiss Yang on the forehead as she reached the two girls. “I’m not on any recon or exterminating teams until Thursday though, so I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”

 Yang gave a content nod, and then turned towards Weiss. “Come by whenever you can too?” She requested in a sleepy singsong tone, tuckered out from what little exertion she had used in the past half hour.

 “Of course.” Weiss didn’t miss a beat, squeezing the other’s girl hand as she began to stand up. The heiress turned to Blake, who had already placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll borrow some lien from Winter and get it to Blake before bed. She’ll have some comic books for you tomorrow so you won’t be bored when you’re alone.”

 “Aw Weissy, you don’t have t-“

 “You’re my teammate, I love you, and you’re getting comic books.” The shortest girl in the room pressed firmly, her cheeks flushing ever so slightly. Yang couldn’t help but give a hearty laugh, Blake joining in with a whisper of a chuckle.

 “Okay, okay. Maybe some snacks too? The jello here sucks ass.” The bombshell grinned, and Weiss nodded with a small smile; the first in quite some time.

 “Anything for you.”

 Blake pulled Weiss’s left hand into her right, and that was the sign that they had to go. Before she was pulled away, the Schnee girl placed a tender peck on Yang’s lone hand; a promise that she would work to do anything in her power to strengthen their bond. Yang gave one last beam; her own eager promise to raise Weiss' spirits no matter what.

 

As Blake and Weiss silently walked through the hospitals halls, hands warmly weaved together, the latter couldn’t help but give a large sigh; the ordeal went much better than expected. Her heart was pounding in her chest, waves of nervousness and peace simultaneously pounding the banks of her mind.

 

She knew Yang was still hurting, and she’d probably hurt for some time.

 

There were going to be some days where the spit-fire just couldn’t hold up with her naturally bright, carefree demeanor.

 

She would eventually struggle with her set-backs, her disability.

 

But Yang had managed to light a small fire in Weiss’ cold, damp interior, and the girl was determined on keeping the flames hot enough for the two of them.

 

Weiss was going to be there for Yang and Blake every step of the way.

 

They held special places in the heart that they helped thaw, and Weiss would see to it that they reaped all the rewards from doing such.

 

Schnee’s honor.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and giving this short fic a shot; it means a lot to me. I left the events leading up to or hinting to multiple ships (Freezerburn/Bumbleby/Bee's Schnees) up to your imagination; Monochrome's really the only dead-set "canon" in this fic. If you feel compelled to leave your kudos or a comment (Praise and critique alike is warmly received), that would be wonderful.
> 
> Cheers~


End file.
